Southern Driving 101

People here are afraid to use their horns but love to tailgate. I prefer to honk the horn if needed and would never tailgate. For example, driving home on the interstate today a woman was talking on her phone and tailgating me. I tapped the brakes and watched her freak out like a Jerry Springer episode. I  chuckled and went on my way.  Another woman decided to drive like she was in England...the Southerner she almost hit just waved. This is the proper situation to blare your horn and scream and explicative! Man up Southern people, the horn was invented to be used and is not a decorative piece on the steering wheel. This reminds me of the latest episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm so I felt the need to share. Their ridiculous habits only go down hill from here. This calls for a list! 

1) It should not take more than 2 attempts to parallel park. Also, spending 15 minutes attempting this maneuver is insane. My grandma is a better parallel parker than you.
 
2) Hands Free, my Southern people! It is not okay to be talking to JJ or Dale about the local saloon unless you are on a hands free device.
3) To the woman I see at the traffic light every morning, yes you! Putting on your makeup at a traffic light is not acceptable. You are the one making the rest of the Southerner's look bad.
 
4) Yes, I see you in the pickup truck with the 20 inch wheels. Even if I was not married you still would not be cute. Bo & Luke Duke called and they want their car back.  Or maybe it's the Monster Truck rally, hells if I know.

The list can go on for 3 pages but my point has gotten across. North Carolina makes you take the written driving test when you move here, no matter what your age is. I failed the first time. Laugh it up, I'll wait... ... ... the test asked me about axles, cows, horses, mufflers and every thing that AAA can handle. The officer who administered my test was not pleased that I thought talking and drinking a hot beverage at the computer was appropriate. It was 8:00 am on my first day in the state so I was not aware of the customs. This could not go by without a comment so I was forced to take it upon myself to tell him how it is. "I have been driving in New York City for 8 years! Hello, I wouldn't know an axle unless his last name is Rose! Have you ever heard of AAA?" He looked at me like I was the rudest woman ever. Lesson learned because he also administered my 2nd test and turned out to be not so bad. 


Until Tomorrow, 


♥ Emily ♥