Things that could only happen to me

Yesterday:

I went to the drugstore for a few items and noticed an open box in one of the aisles. Looked inside to see half of it missing, being the good person I am I decide to pick it up and take it to an employee. I heard two employees in the next row so I grabbed the box and headed over. This is the conversation that took place between me, the 60ish yr old woman and the 20-something male manager:


Me: Hello, I noticed this open box of tampons and half of them are missing.
Woman: *crickets, nada, zip*
Manager: Really?
Me: Yes, I guess people will steal anything nowadays. Even tampons.
Woman: *turning red and starting to cross herself..mumbling "Jesus" over and over*
Manager: Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. How many tampons are missing?
Me: I don't know, but it says there should be 24 in the box.
Manager: Oh okay, I will check it out. Have a nice day!
Me: Thank you. *glares at the woman and ponders uttering words like "condom" "sex toy" "pregnancy test" "homosexual" and other un-Southern words* You, too Sir.


How do I always manage to end up in a Seinfeld episode? Maybe it is because NY'ers are more comfortable with ridiculous terms, such as tampons. I literally thought this woman was going to pass out of embarrassment and she didn't even utter a word. Woman, you work at the drugstore, eventually you are going to have to get over your fear.I was just trying to be nice...I will think twice before saying something to the drugstore people again if I see something awry. Cuckoo Crazies!


Today:

I was listening to the radio on the way home & Empire State of Mind was playing. It gave me no option except to sing at the top of my lungs. Still singing as I was walking to the mailbox I heard a man behind me say, "excuse me." My first instinct was mace but I realized that I have not carried any since NY. I turned around and the man says, "Are you from NY or a Jay-Z fan?" of course my response had to be "both". At this point, I had to think on my feet so the man did not think I was a cuckoo crazy...

Me: Did you know singing relieves stress?
Man: Really? I go to the gym 5 days a week for that.

Blah, he had me stumped so I walked away without another word. Then with the type of luck I have, he follows me to the elevator and says "3 please". Apparently, he did not think I was certifiable and introduced himself! Woooohoooo I did not scare off a neighbor.