Happy "Green" Halloween

It's time to adorn a costume and let your dreams come true! I cannot dress up as NYC because the Statue of Liberty is played out and wearing a skyline is next to impossible. The weight of the world on my shoulders would not be dreamy. 

Last year I went with the Jersey 80's prom queen, straight out of a bag. This year I have decided to go green and not give money to a manufacturer who will be making millions for this holiday. To the Goodwill! My husband was amazed at what you can buy at the Goodwill but this was not my 1st rodeo. Of course, finding a size 0 or 2 was not going to happen so I found a huge outfit that I will safety pin to fit. Even found accessories for the costume and the grand total was $10. The same stuff at Party City would have totaled $25 and up. Hip Hip Hooray (Jorge)! Not only did I save money but I will donate it back to the same Goodwill next week.  Pictures to follow tomorrow morning because I cannot share my costume before I wear it out. It's a girl thing. What is everyone doing tonight? I want to see pics of your costumes!


Have a safe & Happy Halloween! Go Yankees!

Until Tomorrow, 

♥ Emily ♥ 

Southern Driving 101

People here are afraid to use their horns but love to tailgate. I prefer to honk the horn if needed and would never tailgate. For example, driving home on the interstate today a woman was talking on her phone and tailgating me. I tapped the brakes and watched her freak out like a Jerry Springer episode. I  chuckled and went on my way.  Another woman decided to drive like she was in England...the Southerner she almost hit just waved. This is the proper situation to blare your horn and scream and explicative! Man up Southern people, the horn was invented to be used and is not a decorative piece on the steering wheel. This reminds me of the latest episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm so I felt the need to share. Their ridiculous habits only go down hill from here. This calls for a list! 

1) It should not take more than 2 attempts to parallel park. Also, spending 15 minutes attempting this maneuver is insane. My grandma is a better parallel parker than you.
 
2) Hands Free, my Southern people! It is not okay to be talking to JJ or Dale about the local saloon unless you are on a hands free device.
3) To the woman I see at the traffic light every morning, yes you! Putting on your makeup at a traffic light is not acceptable. You are the one making the rest of the Southerner's look bad.
 
4) Yes, I see you in the pickup truck with the 20 inch wheels. Even if I was not married you still would not be cute. Bo & Luke Duke called and they want their car back.  Or maybe it's the Monster Truck rally, hells if I know.

The list can go on for 3 pages but my point has gotten across. North Carolina makes you take the written driving test when you move here, no matter what your age is. I failed the first time. Laugh it up, I'll wait... ... ... the test asked me about axles, cows, horses, mufflers and every thing that AAA can handle. The officer who administered my test was not pleased that I thought talking and drinking a hot beverage at the computer was appropriate. It was 8:00 am on my first day in the state so I was not aware of the customs. This could not go by without a comment so I was forced to take it upon myself to tell him how it is. "I have been driving in New York City for 8 years! Hello, I wouldn't know an axle unless his last name is Rose! Have you ever heard of AAA?" He looked at me like I was the rudest woman ever. Lesson learned because he also administered my 2nd test and turned out to be not so bad. 


Until Tomorrow, 


♥ Emily ♥

Craziest Day Ever

The day started off odd and only went down hill from there. My precious travel coffee container has a swivel lid. When I went to open it...flew across my office. Luckily, no spillage so I did not have to kick the manufacturers ass. Two minutes later I found out that there was an incident during the overnight hours. I was on the case to find a new glass door and get it installed in 8 hours flat. Four hours later, a company came out and measured the door. Two hours after that we had a new door. If you ever have any issue and need to replace a glass door then feel free to tweet or fb me. Did you know there are two types of commercial grade glass doors? Tempered and Laminated. Tempered shatters into cubes when broken and Laminated is more like a car windshield. It spiderwebs and stays in place.You can also get tints, bronze & gray. Please feel free to call me for all of your store front door needs.

Yankees are on tonight! Hopefully, the gobs of anti-bacterial I used today has rid me of bad karma. Otherwise I will be forced to root for the Phillies and pass onto them my karma.

Until Tomorrow,

♥ Emily ♥

My Yankees

Waiting 24 hours for game six is not going so well! I had my Tex shirt laid out on the bed and ready to go last night then Francesa says it was called due to rain. What? How come every other sport plays in the rain but baseball? The men are wearing cleats for footing so why not show the fans that these million dollar men can get down a dirty for their money. Manning & Moss don't mind a little bit of mud or grass stains. That is why the organization has people to do laundry. Yankee's laundry people have it easy except when Swisher or A-Rod decide it is fun to slide into 2nd. Maybe the paranoia of the Angels making a comeback set in or could I possibly have a valid point? For $180 million over 6 years, I would run nekkie around the bases. Just sayin'...


Anyways, still waiting on game 50 six of this series to start! I need to know already if we are going to do this or choke it up. Go Yankees!!

♥ Emily ♥

Things that could only happen to me

Yesterday:

I went to the drugstore for a few items and noticed an open box in one of the aisles. Looked inside to see half of it missing, being the good person I am I decide to pick it up and take it to an employee. I heard two employees in the next row so I grabbed the box and headed over. This is the conversation that took place between me, the 60ish yr old woman and the 20-something male manager:


Me: Hello, I noticed this open box of tampons and half of them are missing.
Woman: *crickets, nada, zip*
Manager: Really?
Me: Yes, I guess people will steal anything nowadays. Even tampons.
Woman: *turning red and starting to cross herself..mumbling "Jesus" over and over*
Manager: Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. How many tampons are missing?
Me: I don't know, but it says there should be 24 in the box.
Manager: Oh okay, I will check it out. Have a nice day!
Me: Thank you. *glares at the woman and ponders uttering words like "condom" "sex toy" "pregnancy test" "homosexual" and other un-Southern words* You, too Sir.


How do I always manage to end up in a Seinfeld episode? Maybe it is because NY'ers are more comfortable with ridiculous terms, such as tampons. I literally thought this woman was going to pass out of embarrassment and she didn't even utter a word. Woman, you work at the drugstore, eventually you are going to have to get over your fear.I was just trying to be nice...I will think twice before saying something to the drugstore people again if I see something awry. Cuckoo Crazies!


Today:

I was listening to the radio on the way home & Empire State of Mind was playing. It gave me no option except to sing at the top of my lungs. Still singing as I was walking to the mailbox I heard a man behind me say, "excuse me." My first instinct was mace but I realized that I have not carried any since NY. I turned around and the man says, "Are you from NY or a Jay-Z fan?" of course my response had to be "both". At this point, I had to think on my feet so the man did not think I was a cuckoo crazy...

Me: Did you know singing relieves stress?
Man: Really? I go to the gym 5 days a week for that.

Blah, he had me stumped so I walked away without another word. Then with the type of luck I have, he follows me to the elevator and says "3 please". Apparently, he did not think I was certifiable and introduced himself! Woooohoooo I did not scare off a neighbor.

We are going to be on a reality show!

While in the NASCAR garages yesterday we saw a bunch of cameras and a swarm of people. Assuming it was someone famous we tried to see who it was to our dismay we found a whole group of nobody. Talking it over we came to the conclusion they must be famous in Europe and continued on with our day. Later we found out it was a reality show for BET about minorities who want to be race car drivers. 5 white women and 5 black men, don't know where the Puerto Ricans, Mexicans and Asians were but this was the representation of minorities that had present. Have the producers ever been to NYC, Texas, Miami or California?? I'm just sayin'...

It was at this point the camera crews started pushing everyone out of their way and attempting to take over the venue. They even pushed NASCAR crew members out there way. I was cold and getting bitchy so we decided to infiltrate the taping. Walked right in front of the cameras and stood there like it was our business. If all goes well, they might show a clip on 106 & Park so we can get a good laugh out of it. Loves me some 106 & Park.

Back to "reality" today with a fun filled morning of laundry & the grocery store. My "reality" may not be near 106 & Park at the moment but I'm not minding it too much today.


Until Tomorrow,

♥ Emily ♥

Yesterday was Crazy!

We went to the garages for the Nascar Nationwide Series race. Saw a lot of drivers but was more interested in finding the tweepple we follow. Standing in the pits, trying to steal find wi-fi in the Edge only speedway was tricky. Finally, found a good spot where we decided to stand for a bit. Looked to my left and saw this guy texting feverishly, noticed tiny pictures on the left side of his screen. AH HA, twitter!!!! Scrolled through my twitter friends to find out what his name was and this is the conversation that ensued:

Me: Excuse me, is your name Bryan?
Him: Yes
Me: I follow you on twitter!

The guy next to him was really excited about it. I started to wonder if I really just used the phrase "I follow you on twitter" aloud. My husband, @djwithsoul, took a picture and it went up to twitter on the ride home. We were both excited to find out that at least one of the Nascar people we follow was real and not some uberfan at home on his couch!

http://mypict.me/upload/0/15/751/15751569.jpg

***************************
The entire confrontation with that bitch...it could not be told in 120 characters on twitter.

I walked over to one of the properties my company manages because we share a parking lot. When I arrived the bitch said, "Hey Emily, you can tell you are getting fat." Followed by a cackle. Of course, I thought I heard her wrong so I invited her to repeat it said, "What? Did you just call me fat???" Bitch said, "Yeah, you are getting heavier."

Maybe this is okay in other cultures but when you tell a tiny white girl they are getting fat, it's on like Donkey Kong. I walked away from the situation in tears but the bitch felt the need to chime in, "Are you mad at me?" Not one to bite my tongue I rebutted, "I'm not mad. I am pissed off. Leave me alone!" Finally, bitch got the hint and went on her way.

I know I am not fat and have a high self-esteem, maybe even too high if that is possible. My husband and coworkers had a nice chuckle at my expense even though I was visibly upset by it. This is going to be #1 on my NC cons list, taking the place of "no ethnic food". Interesting, food has been replaced by a bitch calling me fat. By the way, last night for dinner I had a beef brisket sandwich slathered in sauce with cole slaw. It was delicious and did not call me fat once!



Until Tomorrow,

♥ Emily ♥

Went to the Speedway, picked up passes...went home

It is raining for the 5,000 umpteenth time. Usually, I try to suck it up put on a smile and call it a day but it is bordering insane. Pretty sure it's colder here than back home...in fact I am positive it. Enough bitching about the weather!

Left work early to pick up my husband and head over to East Bumblefuck Concord. The car looks like it went "muddin'" because a semi went through a big puddle and splashed the entire fn car blessed the car with a spa mud bath.We stopped at the favorite BBQ place I referenced yesterday and it is still everything and then some. Brunswick Stew and a BBQ Sandwich with Cole Slaw on it, yum. Then we went the last 3 miles to the track. Yes, it started raining again but I promised not to talk about the weather so I won't, maybe. Stopped by the hauler to pick up our garage credentials. Turned around and drove the 11 miles home! I am truly amazed that my husband let me drive and we made there and back in the rain safely. I drive like a crazy chic in Queens BUT I only hit the curb once. Not completely my fault because I had to make a 45 degree right turn out of the restaurants parking lot. "Emily, I was trying to telling you there was a curb." My only response was laughter because I thought it was the funniest backwoods country thing ever.

Until Tomorrow,

♥ Emily ♥

Rain, Rain Go Away!

Tomorrow we are supposed to go to Lowes Motor Speedway but the forecast is for rain again which is not typical Charlotte.If all else goes to shit fails, we will be near the best BBQ place ever. I would tell you where it is but then it would get too crowded like a Yogi Berra saying.

Looking forward to this sports filled weekend, if the rain holds up here and NY. I discovered NASCAR when I had a 101 fever and was so delusional exhausted that I could not change the channel. Could I have possible been the only person in Great Neck, maybe even the NYC metro area watching a bunch of rednecks men drive in circles? Quite possibly! It clicked and I decided the sport was a keeper. We went to the Daytona 500 and go to both races in Charlotte every year. By now the lesson has been learned, they are talented men and not all rednecks.

At the other end of the spectrum, my Yankees will be playing too. No matter where life may take me these guys will always be my team. The Angels may put up a fight but we can take 'em down.

So far, knock on wood & spit spit, I have managed to keep out of trouble today. Sorry for the disappointment but no crazy stories unless you count that I enjoy spraying coworkers with Lysol. :D

Until Tomorrow,

♥ Emily ♥

Rainy Days & Mondays

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I cannot stand rainy Mondays. As if getting my lazy ass out of bed isn't hard enough! Too bad that was not even the highlight of my horrid beautiful morning. Long Island Emily came out to play...she is the one who thinks that pixies come from hell heaven and magically fill up the gas tank. Well, LI Emily made it to work on a wing and a prayer by the grace of G-d. She said to g-d, "Sir, if you are awake at this ung-dly hour please help a sista out. I've learned my lesson and will remember to put gas in the car from now on." He must have been laughing his holy ass off awake so all ended well. My husband had a field day compassion and surprisingly held back "I told you so, Emily".

Today's Morals: You can take the girl out of NY, but you can't take the NY out of the girl. Always check your gas tank before getting on the highway.


Until Tomorrow,

Happy Sunday "Y'all"

Another mother truckin' beautiful day in Charlotte! By beautiful I mean gray and 70ish degrees. I had a crazy dream last night that I need to get analyzed by my husband. Since, I am only talking to myself a few people at this point then I will share the general idea. Two friends from here & people from childhood were all in the same building. Maybe it was a school or something but it was in the middle of nowhere NC somewhere.

Anyways, according to my prison-esque marks on the wall calendar Month 23 in Charlotte will be here on Wednesday!! So looking forward to this momentous occasion which symbolizes get me out of here, I will pay you almost 2 years of fun and money saving in the South.

Charlotte is not a terrible place, it's just not New York. I blog to relieve stress...I had a great day yesterday and can only hope today is just as wonderful.


Until Tomorrow,




P.S. My husband analyzed my weird dream! I fell asleep while watching tv and everyone represented a character from a show.

Oy

My husband decided to complain offer his opinion on my blog. Not asked for I truly appreciate criticism with my morning coffee. Another reason why NY is my home.

Remember Gilmore Girls? They used to live by the pro's and con's list. I would love to try one of those but I am lazy too busy.

New topic, Halloween! My husband is going to dress up as Run DMC, yes all 3 at once. My costume is June Cleaver...that bitch smiles a lot looking forward to it, red lipstick et al. Still time to be Derek Jeter's wife because I have the shirt, hat and all that. Anyone have any clever or shall I saw "Cleaver" ideas?

Clicked my heels 3 times & Nada

Should have started blogging on Day 1 here but I'm a procrastinator. Month 22 in Charlotte and still dreaming of New Yawk. Moved down here to save money for a condo/home back in NY but got lost along the way. Accidentally, met really nice people whom I adore and enjoy spending time with. If only we could spend that time with bagels at Yankee Stadium or seeing Depeche Mode at the Garden. Still miss my family & friends in NY and feel the void in my heart. I finally went back to school so I could finish my degree after an 8 year short absence...then we moved. Waited a year to gain residency in NC but the schools here are artsy and 20 miles away. That sounds like a hellish pleasure during rush hour. Yes, they have rush hour here. If you are reading this or if I am talking to myself please send NY food and Fox's U-Betz Chocolate Syrup.